Friday, September 25, 2009

Reflections of life...

My brother is getting married tomorrow. I'm supposed to give a "personal reflection" during the ceremony. This is the gist of what I plan to say. :)

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While growing up, my brother and I never really did see eye to eye on a lot of things. This fact became apparent at a very young age. For example, when we were 3 and 4, Rob decided that a plastic toy golf club would make a much better baseball bat… and I would be the perfect ball.

To this day, I still have to disagree, though I find it much funnier now than I did at the time.

As we grew up, we had our fair share of fights – some definitely bigger than others – but it was nothing more than normal sibling bickering. I knew deep, deep, deep down inside of him, he really loved me and that was the only reason he picked on me the way he did.

Rob and I were nothing short of oil and water. I was the aggressive-defensive big sister and he was that really annoying little brother.

But we did have our good times, too. I have a lot of memories of laughing. All of you know exactly how funny Rob can be when he’s “in the zone”. Imagine living with him.

I have a lot of memories that were merely pleasant, like taking a trip with Rob and my dad across country and hardly fighting at all.

And then I have some memories that I really can’t explain. For example, Rob’s sophomore year of high school he was named Coming Home King. Some of you may remember how sick he was that day. What I remember, outside of that fact, is that while he was putting his tux on he could barely stand and asked if I could put his cuff links on for him. It’s a really simple memory, but a heartfelt one.

And though we did have those tender moments as brother and sister, had some really great times, funny times, and some absolutely hilarious times, growing up with someone you constantly disagreed with was not always easy.

However, when it mattered most, we did agree. And what matters the most to Rob, is Sara.

Sara and I have known each other for a really long time. I’d say all the way back to high school. But we became really good friends when we started working together. It’s not hard to become friends with Sara. She’s a genuinely honest, sweet, and caring person. I’ve never heard her raise her voice and I can’t imagine she’s ever looked down upon anyone. Her smile can brighten a room and her laugh is infectious.

In short, when I first started to get to know Sara, I decided she was the exact opposite of Rob.

As time went by, it became alarmingly clear that Rob and Sara liked each other. And I can see how it happened. Sara is a wonderful person, and Rob does know how to turn on the charm. Throw in the fact that they worked at the same location and saw each other constantly, and you have a recipe for love.

It was unfortunate that everyone else could see it and they couldn’t.

It became a mission amongst the Dancer’s and the Young’s to finally bridge that friend gap between Rob and Sara. The lines were already starting to blur as it was. But matchmaking proved to be more difficult than expected.

My sister, Becky, would always ask that Sara come babysit for her. Then she’d sit down with her and pull out all the old home videos. Most of you are not privy to the hilarious image of Rob’s 3-year-old pelvic thrust dance move, but I assure you, it holds its own certain degree of adorableness. And though Becky would continuously prompt Sara with, “Isn’t he so cute?” and “Isn’t he so funny?”, Sara seemed severely oblivious to Becky’s exact point.

One winter, my mother worked it out so that Rob and Sara had to paint the work bathroom. For a week solid they were in a 10x10 room alone together and even the paint fumes didn’t seem to go to their heads.

A few more thwarted attempts later and it became evident that more drastic – and less subtle – attempts needed to be made. After a long discussion with my family, I was given the task of telling Sara exactly how my brother felt about her.

So, on December 24, 2002 – my brother’s birthday – I took Sara to lunch at The Olive Garden in Okemos. We had our salads and breadsticks and while we waited for our main course, I dropped the bomb – so to speak.

I remember after I had finally explained to Sara that it was quite pointless for them to continue to beat around the proverbial bush, her face turned a bright shade of red and she laughed. Nervously.

She confessed that she had always liked Rob, but didn’t think he actually liked her. She went on to say that she still didn’t quite believe it, but did mention that it would be okay if we told him that she liked him, too.

And then she got redder.

On our way out of the restaurant that day, we actually ran into Mom and Rob going into The Olive Garden for Rob’s birthday lunch. It was like fate, destiny, and Sara was red as a radish.

Phase one was complete.

There are a lot of details that happened afterwards that led to their official anniversary date of December 31, 2002, but I think I’ll skip over those. Because the real point of all this is that they ended up together – no matter how it happened.

Rob is my brother – and I do love him. As we’ve grown, we’ve found a common ground to stand on. Rob is there for me and I am there for him, no matter what.

Sara is my friend and my sister. I don’t know a nicer person and I’d do anything for her, because I love her, too.

Together, they are a force of love to be reckoned with.

Rob, there is no other woman more suited for you, and Sara, you really did get the cream of the crop. Today, we take your nearly 7 years together and make it official. Finally. You’ll have memories of this day that will stay with you forever. You’ll have another date on your calendar that you get to remember. You’ll have a shared surname and a family full of in-laws, but most of all, you’ll still have each other. And there’s no greater gift than that.

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